30
THE FREEDOMSEEKER


   The first doubts had assailed him and placed a blunt weapon into his still immature hand. Now he must learn to use it, sharpened by the steel of experience.
   He has taken his first step forward on the path of awareness, by no longer accepting people and things as they present themselves, but by weighing them against each other and coming to terms with them.
   He has passed his first independent judgement.
   Now he stands and hammers with his tiny fists against the great gates, closed across the path of Life, and demands entrance.
   How massive these gates are — and how firmly closed they seem! . . .

   HE HAS TAKEN HIS FIRST STEP ON THE PATH of awareness.
   The first doubt has entered his young soul and this new awareness is its fruit. It is not yet a full awareness; it is still only the presentiment of one — but it will not be ignored.
   It tells him: that between words and deeds there can be a great gulf, a division like the difference between truth and lies; that what people say does not always match up with what they do; that words are often used only as a cover-up for deeds; that people are not always what they seem or profess to be and that consequently one cannot trust anyone without reservations.
   He did not tell himself this in so many words because he had not yet the right words to express this, his first, awareness but he felt that it was so.
   Doubt had entered into his mind and would never leave him again.
   Sometimes, in those eyes which looked so frankly out into the world would glow a spark — the promise of the future flame.







Copyright © 1998-2003 Christian Butterbach. All rights reserved